Wednesday, 5 October 2016

One day at a time. One thing at a time.

Hi there!
Thanks for popping in.
Beautiful sunny day here in the south of England.
The leafy lanes of Kent and Sussex are a wondrous thing 
at this time of year.
Mind you! 
That pretty much goes for the whole of Britain 
when the sun’s out!

Wednesday’s blog, so it’s time to reflect on what’s what, 
and get mindful.


Just coming down from a marathon TV weekend.
Seven hours of live TV is no mean feat, I can tell you!
Takes a week to recover!
But once again, it shows me that my way of tackling things one at a time works !
Last week I was dealing with the art prep for the shows, 
so I tackled it ONE HOUR AT A TIME.
Which is exactly how I approached the live shows -
ONE AT A TIME.

It’s how I do my housework -
ONE ROOM AT A TIME.

And how I cope with my finances -
ONE BILL AT A TIME.

I can only speak for myself, and you may have it totally sussed,
but when I look ahead at the future, 
whether it be the whole weekend of shows,
the next two months of exhibitions,
or the 2017 new year of Clarity and Groovi,
it can get really overwhelming and frightening.

I am prone to anxiety, you see.
Years ago, before I figured out my 
ONE DAY ONE THING AT A TIME kinda Life strategy,
I used to get the most terrible chest pains.
It would feel as though somebody had put a metal strap around my chest and was tightening it with a ratchet.
I lived like that for years. 
When the chest pains reached a certain pitch, 
the panic breathing would kick in, and I would
start snatching for breath and hyperventilating.
If I couldn’t calm my mind down and slow my breathing down,
a full blown panic attack would ensue. 
Bloody terrible. And not just for me.
It must have been awful to watch. 

So yeah.
I get it. Been there. Not going back if I can help it.

So I look at what needs to be done, and then
screw whatever it is right down to the smallest, 
most manageable increment I can handle. 
ONE AT A TIME.
Move to the next one, whatever it is.
TICK.
Move to the next one.
TICK.

This is my way of not projecting and fretting 
about what’s on my plate.
Let’s face it - I can only eat ONE meal at a time, 
so why worry about what’s on the menu all month !!

I used to panic a lot about money and bills too,
which is possibly why I am a workaholic!
I always tried to work my way out of the problem;
still do!!
I still get occasional waves of insecurity around money, 
but that’s a human trait I think, and nothing abnormal,
unless you’re minted but think you still need more!

Let’s look at the ONE THING AT A TIME idea from another perspective....

I have wanted to write a book for many years.
But a whole book ???
When’s that going to happen, apart from never ?!


(I love this photo! If you can think of a good caption,
write it below...... )

So what I need to do, and I know it, is tackle a chapter at a time, 
or even a page or a paragraph at a time.

My goodness! I have written artbooks galore in the form of a daily blog for the past 3 years!

Do you get what I mean?
Sometimes we look at a project or a dream in its entirety,
and are very quick to surrender to the enormity of the task.


But if we were to break it down into manageable, bitesize pieces, wouldn’t it all become far more feasible?
And the amazing thing that I have found is that when you do that, and you tackle the smaller parts
ONE AT A TIME,
then the larger task which seemed unachievable happens, 
despite our fears of inadequacy. 

That’ll do for now.
I have a little list of things which need ticking, one at a time,
LIKE PACK !!!!
Before Paul and I go off on our jolly to New York for a few days.
Can’t wait !
Dave is holding the fort while Paul and I go have fun.
I get to see Grace too!


I shall certainly be a-bloggin from the BIG APPLE though -
One day at a time.

Love & hugs.
Barb
xx

162 comments:

  1. You are so right about breaking things down into small bites which we can handle. I also believe that if you can do something to help, stop worrying and do it. If there is nothing you can do, stop worrying about it. Things usually work out right in the end. Worry is the most destructive emotion, causing real illness in many cases, but it is hard to stop it. After such a fantastic marathon on the telly, you certainly deserve a real break and the chance to get together with Grace again. I hope you and Paul manage to enjoy your time in New York, and not work every second. Have lots of fun and bring Dave a lovely pressie for staying at home. xxx Maggie

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  2. Wise words Barbara, something we can all Steive to do. Enjoy NYC and time with Grace x

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  3. What a brilliant philosophy. It's something I try to do too, having also suffered from anxiety in the past. Have a fabulous time in the Big Apple. Have you read 'The Apple of My Eye' by Helene Hanff? It is about a native New Yorker visiting the sites of the city as a tourist with her friend over the course of one summer. An excellent read by the author of 84 Charing Cross Road.

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  4. Have a great time with Paul and Grace in New York, you deserve the break. I am off to Oz next week to see my daughter and family, I tried to be organised and make all my Christmas cards early but it didn't happen Barbara. I am not going to fret over it, life is too short, instead I will enjoy my grandchildren before they get too grown up.....be happy x

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    1. That will be lovely Carol, and yes, don't sweat the small stuff as they say, grandchildren do grow up rather quickly ! xx

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    2. Have a wonderful time Carol, time with your family is far more important. Xx

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  5. Hi Barbara. You should have no trouble writing a book, your blogs are wonderful, almost like one chapter. Enjoy your trip to New York and enjoy seeing Grace. I have my daughter here tomorrow for a day before she returns to Hong Kong. Why do families move away. I am hoping she can sort my freeview out. So disappointed at the weekend, said 85 was invalid. Did watch a couple on my iPad. Love watching you. Xxx

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    1. If your daughter doesn't manage to have a look at it for you, let me know, and I'll try to help you with retuning it, which I think is all it needs xx

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    2. Hi Josephine, we couldn't get it either, then my hubby retuned the tele and the freeview box and it appeared. Hope that helps.

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    3. Hi Josephine - I retuned my freeview and still couldn't get it, but then I found we had hidden some of the channels, and 85 was there when I unhid them again. Good luck x

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  6. I do my housework one room at a time too :) List everything and tick off as I go. I need to "see" progress and that something if finished and then move on to the next thing. Your words strike a huge chord with me. Have a fab & safe trip. C xx

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  7. Doing things in bitesized portions is a great idea and makes for a better result I'm sure and helps to keep stress to a minimum. I do tend to work better under pressure but it is not always good for your health to work like this and I am trying to have a mental tick list and to work a bit smarter these days, and it does happen sometimes. Hope you and Paul have a good trip and enjoy your time with Grace. x

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  8. Barbara I have just read through your blog and what you say makes sense ! Oh I have been Struggling with anxiety and trying to tackle so much at once. From now I will follow your advice one thing/day at a time thank you so much. Oh and whilst I'm talking thank you for your shows at the weekend, I spent a fortune but do I care ? No because I am mad for all things clarity from groovi to the new petite gel plates etc etc ! X

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  9. Wise words - I felt like I was reading about myself.
    "I'm going to skype Grace first, you three wait your turn and no monkey business!"

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  10. I sympathise with you on the panic attacks , prone to them myself but haven't had one for a long time! I just stopped trying to fret about everything and as you say Barbara it's one day , one hour or one minute at a time. No point getting all worked up all the time. My life's a lot better and so is my hubby who used to never know what to do for me. Crafting is a great therapeutic release for me and though I don't do great creations I'm happy and most of all I'm calm! Enjoy your break away . Xx

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  11. Thank you Barbara - I'm also in the process of writing a book , so this was very timely. Always trying to live in the future instead of embracing the moment. Good to stop and read, reflect and think. Thank you

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  12. Know exactly where you're coming from. Although I've never experienced a full-blown panic attack (thank goodness) the anxiety of trying to take everything into consideration at once has a paralysing effect and then nothing gets done. The title of today's blog could be a mantra for many reasons. Thank you.
    Tonbridge Sue

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  13. So Wise Barbara and so lovely too x

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  14. Hi Barbara
    Wise words today. I try very hard to take one day at a time. I love the picture. I thing the caption should be
    " Pressing control/alt/delete at the same time usually works! "
    Hugs from Chris X

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  15. Enjoy your break away with Paul brilliant that you can meet up with grace .and Dave holding the clarity fort fabulous team work .
    I find now I have to cope with life in baby steps I get there in the end .my crafting helps me through especially now with the groovi xxx

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    1. Afternoon dear blog friends sending heartfelt ❤️️hugs to you all I'm just going to my diabetic review appointment.im feeling brighter today I've even mannage to colour in a groovi Christmas card this morning so a big thank you for all your messages which help me through 💐Xxx

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    2. I hope the appointment goes OK and you don't find it too tiring or painful to get there xx

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    3. Good luck with your appointment xx

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    4. Hi Sheila hope you get on okat the appointment. It's lovely to hear you have managed some colouring today, all that being good and resting has worked. Sending hugs xxx

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    5. So pleased you have got a bit of crafting done. Hope the appointment goes well. Sending hugs. Xx

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    6. Sheila, I am so pleased to read that you have been able to do some colouring today - that must have made you feel better! Hopefully your appointment has gone well today - love and hugs, Gilly xxx

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    7. So glad you're feeling brighter today Sheila. Hopefully your appointment went well too. Being able to colour your card this morning must have helped you feel good. Hoping you'll feel better each day.xx

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    8. Hello dear blog friends my appointment went very well the diabetic nurse was very supportive and spent time talking through things with me and left notes for my appointment with my DR Friday afternoon I've got my rhumotiod arthritis appointment tomorrow morning a very early start so I must go to sleep thinking of you all goodnight hugs xxx

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    9. Morning Sheila a wee hug to keep you going...xx

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    10. Thank you Dorothy a wee hug back xxx

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    11. Good morning Sheila. What an extra rough time you've had lately. It's so good that at last you're feeling a wee bit better. Love and lots of gentle hugs. xxx

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  16. Think the caption should read. Time to watch Barbara Gray on Hochanda with the Groovi. Enjoy your trip to New York xx

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  17. Dear Barb you are a wonderful person ,and yes there are loads of people out there just like you more then normal actually ,( which i think is quite nice to know ). I was born with renal failure, which was 42 yeas ago (i don't mind saying ). Now my second transplant is on its way out and yes i panicked but then sat myself down somewhere quite and thought 2 things really 1. take each bit that happens 1 step at a time 2, i have been there before done it and will do it again . i believe. And when things get to much and my brain decides to run away with its self i sit myself down and do a bit of Groovi brings my mind back to the present and not worrying about the future Love and BIG hugs Ali xxxx

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    1. I'm so sorry to hear that Alison. Hope a suitable donor organ comes along soon for you, and you get through it well xx

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    2. Thank you Brenda Hoping i can get a little while longer out of it before i have to go down that route again xxxxxxx

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    3. Alison - you too are a wonderful person! It's good that your Groovi can help you so much. Thinking of you, and sending hugs, Gilly xx

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    4. Alison, love and prayers are winging their way to you.
      Maureen xx

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    5. Alison you have a wonderful outlook, all the very best to you and if or when you require another transplant you manage to get a donor quickly.xx

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    6. Thank you so much everyone much love xxx

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    7. Sending you love, hugs and positive thoughts Alison. Hope to see you joining in here often. It really helps. xxx

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  18. "the kids wished that Dad would let them show him how to work the laptop!"
    Enjoy your break away.

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  19. I can clearly remember my mum saying this to me when I was stressing doing revision for my upcoming O levels. I was doing 8 in one year, plus a few other exams. Mum told me to break it down into sections, and make a plan. And it worked, and kept me in control. Didn't work when I was employed by a high street bank, stress to me is having too much to do, and knowing you haven't got enough time. It wasn't in my control, I had to do it their way. Ended up leaving due to ill health, after 29 years service. I haven't worked since.
    Have a fantastic time in New York, spend as much time with Grace as you can, and come back recharged.
    I think the ape on the right is saying " If only I had a 3D printer!" xx

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  20. Bitesized pieces are the way to go, I have found that as I have got older things take a little longer. I imagine I am going to do so much but never achieve it all. Back is playing me up at the moment so that not helping.Enjoy your time with Grace and Paul in NYC. Well earnt rest I reckon. As for caption ' Sit quietly and listen while I read you a story by Barbara Gray ' xx

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  21. Ps Think caption should read No no i can do it Then the children say Oh no dads gonna break it again .

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  22. How about, "Turn it off, turn it back on again, works for me".

    Have a brilliant time with Paul and Grace, nice one Dave xx

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  23. Such true words Barbara. 9 years ago I spent a year in a wheelchair due to back issues. After treatment I had to really work at walking again. I broke that into chunks, rather than focus on everything I couldn't do. At first it was "Good I can walk to the gate and back", then "I can walk to the lamppost now" etc etc. Eventaully it was walk with one stick, then none. When I told my physio after 3 months that I could walk a couple of miles she was amazed.

    Have a brilliant time in New York with Paul and Grace. We will all make sure Dave is behaving!!

    I think the caption should be " No dad - pressing the Esc key does not mean you can get out of the zoo!"

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    1. Good plan which I'm following hard to follow at the moment as everything seems to be happening at once! However, one Christmas card at a time would be good at the moment! Glad you're going to get to see Grace on your jolly! xx

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    2. Well done Chris, managing to walk again must have been a hard job but you kept going and managed it. Xx

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    3. Chris - you did so very well! It shows a great strength of character, hugs Gilly xx

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    4. The best way to go Chris and it worked for you, that's wonderful and took some doing.xxx

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    5. A PERFECT example of tenacity mixed with trust and a dusting of courage. Xx

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    6. What a brave and determined person you are xxxxxxx

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    7. Oh my goodness Chris. What an inspiration you are! Great determination. Mind, even having only met you once (so far) I'm not surprised. Love and Hugs xxx

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  24. Right then, I'm off to pot up my pansies - said that everyday last week and now this! People keep getting in the way. Spent all of yesterday talking to the couple across the road, one at a time about their impending marriage break up. Not sure it's going to happen now but I don't think that's my doing - I'm just a sounding board but it's darn tiring ! Just had a doggy walk with Lima next door so that's blown the cobwebs away and now I'm going to go to my new greenhouse for my first potting up session and to see what I might be able to keep over the winter. Sun is lovely but shows up all the dust this time of year but that can wait a bit longer. Ooh also hair cut later - he comes here so that's ok ! Stew in oven too - just about Slimming World friendly I think! xx

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    1. You sound very organised jackie, enjoy the sunshine xxx

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    2. Enjoy your potting, hope the sunshine lasts. Xx

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    3. Hi Jackie- sounds as though you did help with your neighbours, but I do know what you mean about it being tiring! I hope that you not only managed to do your potting, but also enjoy your stew too! Love and hugs, Gilly xx

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    4. I hope you enjoyed the stew. I kept lavender and pink cuttings in the unheated conservatory last year as I don't have a greenhouse and they did well. I also keep fuchsias and geraniums over winter in there and Mizuna grows well xx

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    5. Hi Jackie. Sending love and hugs xxx

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  25. You have a great way with words so if you ever had the time it would be a lovely thing to do. Safe journey and enjoy your precious time with Grace. Xx

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  26. Such good advice. I'll try and follow it. Good luck packing - think that is SN art form these days!

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  27. Have a very good time in New York. Give Grace a big hug from me. Xxxx

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  28. Funny you should pick this topic for today but I have been saying to myself a lot lately - one bite at a time - always the best way to eat an elephant (metaphorically speaking of course!) I certainly recommend people try it as it really does work. x

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  29. Your idea of one day at a time is certainly better than making yourself ill through worry and anxiety. Enjoy your packing! Xx

    My caption would be:
    "Computer helpdesk, how may I help you?"

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  30. Hi bloggy friends, hope you are all well. Sending hugs to all. Xx

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    1. Hi Donna hope you've been enjoying the sunshine too. Sending hugs xxx

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    2. Hi Donna - sending hugs to you and Phoebe, Gilly xx

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    3. Here's a hug to go wi yir coffee at breaktime aye bet yi log on
      then...love Dot..xx

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    4. Good morning Donna. Love and Hugs to you and Phoebe xxx

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  31. A fabulous read and so very true, I used to panic about work, bills etc. Now I just take each day at a time and one task at a time too. You only get one chance at life and it isn't a dress rehearsal, so yeah live each day to the maximum and enjoy. So jealous you are off to New York but have a wonderful time with Paul and a good catch up with Grace too. A well deserved break to recharge your batteries.
    Hugs
    Linda xxx

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  32. Hi Barbara
    What a great blog today and such a positive way of dealing with things too. I'm a worrier, Julian very laid back, I rush around madly thinking the worse then he comes up with words of wisdom that he's pondered on and gets me to stop and go with the flow! Mind you cleaning, yep one room at a time ( is one a month acceptable? 😂😂). Have a wonderful time in New York, eat the biggest piece of cheesecake you can find and top up on Grace cuddles - it will do you the works of good. Now as for the caption "if you press all these buttons together it blows the bl%*$%y doors off!!".
    Take care
    Love Diane xxx

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    1. Hello lovely blog friends, I hope all is well. I've been playing catch up today and now want to get my gelli plate out but I must be good and only play with one toy at once! Sending hugs all round xxx

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    2. Oooooo which toy will you play with first? Xx

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    3. Hi Diane - so which is your choice of toy today then? Love and hugs, Gilly xxx

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    4. How lovely to have a choice like that xx

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    5. Hello Diane. You can get on with playing with choice number two today!! Love and Hugs xxx

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  33. Yep, I can get overwhelmed with things especially at the moment. I overthink things and then a few days later I've got it all into perspective again and can then do what I'm meant to be doing. Have fun in NY.

    I'm very excited to see that I got a top 5 in last month's 'in the garden' challenge. It's my first top five...well chuffed.

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    1. I saw that Julia, well done! It was a fantastic card. Xx

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    2. Well done Julia for being in the top 5 of the challenge! Also well done for being able to get things into perspective during a very difficult time! Love and hugs, Gilly xxx

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    3. Congratulations Julia - it was a fab design and so well deserved x

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    4. I really liked your card Jackie when I first saw it, brought back lots of memories. Well done you for being the top five.xx

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    5. I left you a message on yesterday's blog keep strong goodnight hugs xxx

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    6. Chuffed to for yi...Love Dot xx

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    7. Julia thinking of you hugs for today xxx

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    8. Thank you everyone, you've all made me feel warm inside.

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    9. Good morning Julia. I think Barbara's motto about 'little steps' is just perfect for you at the moment. I totally understand what a terrible time you're having, but it will pass. My Gran always used to drum into me that 'everything happens for a reason'. It has always been so for me. I'm sure somewhere down the line, you'll be able to look back on now and, you'll think 'Thank goodness that happened, because if it hadn't I wouldn't be doing this today. May that time arrive for you very soon. Love and Hugs xxx

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  34. Hi Barbara, yes I'm there with you totally, on all levels. As me too re the panic attacks. I suffered from severe shyness, on top of Asperger's, had selective mutism growing up, and even in adulthood would regularly have to walk out a shop on the verge of passing out from the panic and hyperventilating. Guess I still do have that shyness, but like you I worked hard on my own at finding a way to manage it, which I now mostly can. I went to those 2 days of the Commonwealth Games, after years of not being in a position to do anything apart from an occasional quiet shop, and I never even started to panic once. Even I can admit that was a huge achievement, and I did it, on my own, me, and totally amazed everyone. Yes I had Nicola with me, but I didn't know her that much at that point, had never been out anywhere with her. And at one point I was even trying to help her calm down when she got anxious at not being able to find the specified route for the parking. My Asperger's, well if only that was similar, instead of being structural, as in brain is wired differently, functions differently, so 'no can do' on the mind over matter, like we all can for shyness etc. My other panic fears, I mostly still have, and they mostly are as debilitating. But I read intently everything you've had to say to us since you started blogging, take it all in and try to learn from it. Wee bits of success at times, but never fully getting all the pieces, until today. So for that a huge most grateful thank you from me. The strange thing is I do break things down into parts, have breakfast, tick, have shower, tick, do daily housework chore, tick, if something on a list needs tackling, tick. Then it all goes wrong, both in terms of achieving for the rest of each day, and all the bigger picture stuff, and problems. But now I know that, you've given me the missing bits, so I have something to work on. You've started a pathway in my head, lets see if I can work my way along it, how far I can get.

    I too am terrified of being destitute and homeless, especially with not being able to work, I save every penny I can, go without stuff most people would see as a nothing every day thing. But in doing so it's meant I have been able to keep control, especially of paying for support. Yes if I spent everything I get, I would get a package of support paid for me, probably more hours per week than I can afford. But would I really want to be faced with the insecurity and uncertainty of annual reviews, changes in Government, austerity cuts etc. It's bad enough fearing all that with my benefits I receive. But my dream is to somehow try selling my crafts, maybe generate a wee bit income if I'm good enough, be less reliant on the Government, and be able to let myself have more nice things. Not doable as things stand but with your one bit at a time, who knows.

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    1. Social services.  Not been near me for months, my garden guy endlessly chasing them re when is my allocated social worker going to start work with me.  Yesterday got an email out the blue from yet another new social worker, who is telling me she's for a maximum of 6 weeks.  And from what she says, my proper social worker's plans for me are out the window, and seems they are going to be chucking any old support service at me instead and walking off telling me to get on with it.  Back to where I was with the first support service.  And no chance of a bit of a quality of life.  My garden guy is going to try meet with them.  How I break this situation into tiny bits, no idea, it's not even in my control, I've got no say.  But I'll try so hard. And try to be thinking positively, that it can be sorted out and I will get what my own social worker wanted for me.

      And talking of letting myself have treats, I am going to go order the baby gelli bundle, and I AM going to get arty with it in my own way.  And maybe Jayne's beautiful flower stamps will sneak their way into my basket too 😉

      As for the caption - sorry guys, finances not so good this week, so no, you can't have an extra banana

      Glad to hear you're getting a wee break, and a visit with your lovely Grace.  But, oh Barb, folk will be talking, dread to think what will go viral once people hear you're going with Paul!!!!  Hope you both have a great time, love Brenda xx

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    2. Arty in your own way sounds like a good plan. Enjoy your gelli plates when they arrive. Xx

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    3. Brenda, I am so pleased that you are going to place that order! Enjoy playing with them when they arrive, sending hugs to you and Daisy, Gilly xx

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    4. Well done Brenda, you really do deserve a treat just for being so positive.xxx

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    5. Thanks everyone, and thanks too Pam for the message you left me yesterday xx

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    6. Good to focus on your crafting. Try the plates on paper first and remember there are two sides to each piece of card, turn it over if it doesn't work first time xx

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    7. Your caption made me smile enjoy your new goodies when they arrive goodnight hugs for you and daisy xxx

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    8. Thanks for the advice Chris, I hate waste. Sounds like I'm heading for a frustrating time, at least to start with!!! xx

      Thanks Sheila, glad today went well for you. Hope you get your steroid injections tomorrow and aren't too exhausted after xx

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    9. Morning Brenda go on treat yourself (Your Worth it) and tell that
      wee garden guy I'm sending him a hug getting arty in your own wee
      way sounds like a plan keeping Daisy away fae the wee Gelly's well
      that's another story paw prints will look guid though..xx
      Cuddle fir yi...Dot xx

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    10. Morning Brenda hug for you and daisy xxx

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    11. Good morning Brenda dear. It was so inspiring reading your post. Reading what you achieve in your circumstances is really incredible. You should be so proud of yourself, and yes!! you must certainly treat yourself! Love and Hugs xxx

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  35. I love reading your blog particularly ones like this is helps to calm me down,I know exactly where you're coming from,I am a worrier and have suffered those same symptoms as you. I remember being in bed one night knowing I Had to go tell mum and dad the next day my husband was leaving and we were separating, leaving me with 2 young children to bring up. I have never felt so near death in my life, the chest pain, the tight band the trouble to breath, it was the worst feeling. I worry now, about money, or lack of it and the struggles to pay bills yet shelter my children from my worries. So Being able to read your thoughts helps me, to know I'm not the only one who has gone through these times and feelings is strangely comforting and re assuring. Thank you for the time you take to communicate with us x

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    1. Hey Dawn. Ditto all of that to the letter xxx

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  36. Caption should read: "Computer says No"
    Have a fab time in NY with the lovely Paul. Think you deserve a happy time after such a hard working year. X

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  37. Have a fantastic time in NYC. BUT beware of the only risen paving slab in Chelsea - I did not see it ( too busy looking for the subway!!!) thus sore knees and a leg brace - didn't stop the sight-seeing, though. ;~}

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  38. Thank you! I have been feeling overwhelmed this week until a few moments ago when I finished reading today's blog. Now I feel in control and can see my way to completing all my tasks!
    Have an excellent trip and enjoy your time with Grace.

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  39. Hello Barbara

    Those words are so true. If I don't take things step by step I am almost rendered incapable of doing anything. I have a vety dear, elderly (87) friend from whom I get inspiration. In the last seven years she has been widowed, lost her daughter and battled three types of cancer, none linked.

    Her mantra is 'if you can do nothing about it, you just have to learn to live with it and cope.'

    Enjoy your trip to America and your time with Grace.

    Love
    Roz.x

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  40. Hi Barbara - I totally agree with everything you have said. I used to suffer from panic attacks when I was first diagnosed with CFS/ME. I was unable to go amongst large crowds of people and still cannot manage huge crowds and loud noise, so I avoid those situations. For many years I have been a list maker, and have broken everything down into bite sized chunks and just focus on one at a time. It works! Enjoy your time with Paul and Grace in NY - hugs Gilly x

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    1. Hi to all of my lovely blog friends - it's been a difficult day for me today. Strangely Neill is going through a rebellious stage and he chose something for lunch - which he is not really allowed to have at the moment. When I tried to talk him out of it, he said to me 'it's ok for you, you're not the one who has been denied so many things. I have tried to advise him not to do some other things, which he also shouldn't do and he hasn't taken it well. To be quite honest I'm not sure what to do next. He has only got another 7 treatments to go now. It is a strange feeling, as the period of waiting to see if it has worked is almost upon us and that's quite scary! So I am making a determined effort now, to keep living within each day at a time - and not even look ahead to the finishing line! Sorry for off-loading, but it's been my most difficult day so far. Love and hugs to you all, Gilly xxx

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    2. Sorry to hear that Gilly, it sounds like Neill is worried about the end of his treatment and seeing if all this time has been worth it. The saying goes you always hurt the ones you love. Sending hugs for you both. Xx

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    3. Well done Gilly for off-loading, you need to get it out of your system. Once or twice shouldn't do any harm out of all the weeks of treatment Neil has had. Hasn't he got a cancer nurse you could mention it to, so you can put your mind at rest. Love and caring hugs to you both.xxx

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    4. Hello Gilly, I think it is often harder for the person not having the treatment as it is for the one going through it. You can feel so helpless but as you say he only has 7 more treatments to go and he has done so well this far. I know what it's like to wait to see if it has been successful. Not much practical help but both of you try and stay positive for a good outcome. As Pam has said has he got a cancer nurse allocated to him? They are there to support both of you when things get difficult. Thinking of you both.xx

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    5. Gilly my dear blog friend off load here everyday if you need too sending all the hugs you need to get through each day heartfelt hugs ❤️️ I just couldn't go to sleep without leaving you a message 😘

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    6. I am sure he's concerned about the success of the treatment and a little treat or two may lift his spirits which will be good for him xx

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    7. Morning gilly hugs for you and Neil hope it's a brighter one thinking of you both xxx

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    8. Morning Gilly, it's me again. When I was getting into bed last night I remembered that Eric (hubby) says that when any of my treatment is coming to an end and I am due to find out the results I get more short tempered and stressy with him. Only a little snippet but I hope it helps to know you are not alone. Have a good day and I hope all goes well.xx

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    9. Good morning Gilly dear. As you know I've been both sides of this coin. I totally agree with Susan. It was easier for me I suppose when hubby was going through his treatment because I'd already been through it twice, I had a good understanding of why he was behaving the way he was. Doesn't say we didn't have the odd ding dong of a row though!!! But it would clear the air. As then he would actually say (or rather shout) how he was feeling. I hope today you are both feeling more settled. Love and Hugs xxx

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  41. Barbara , this is so very wise and so good to read it again in your words , thanks so much for sharing.
    I try to love like this and if I'm not " Mindful " I can get my self in a real,anxiety attack. I understand .,

    I watched,you on tv thoroughly enjoyed and marvel,at what you do .,
    I wish I was going to be in NYC this week. Just for an autograph.,your are a celebrity to me
    Have a great time in Big Apple and hello to Grace . Joy now jan

    The title for the photo in ---- " once upon a time there was ------ "


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  42. Hello Barb,
    I make lists, endless lists, but I find they help to make this more manageable - and the feeling of achievement when I cross one off is wonderful.
    The Caption is :- NO, I can do it (I think)!!!
    Maureen xxx

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  43. Hello Barbara!
    I love your blog and stance on life; it really resonates with me.
    Have you thought about using your Wednesday musings as the basis for your book? Lots of the work already done and could be added to and tweaked as you wish.
    Karen x

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  44. Hi Barbara, well I can relate to everything you have said.
    Over the years I have gone through anxiety after my marriage break up after being hit and told I was never to good. Lots of years later really married to a wonderful man and have brilliant step children and I would not swap anything for it.
    my craft has helped and having good friends who have stuck to me through thick and thin.
    I also do thing's one at a time if it does not get done today it will get done another day.
    Hope you and Paul have an amazing time in NY and have quality time with Grace.
    Lynn xx

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  45. Hello Barbara, what a lovely post... I also write lists for things needing done, and if I do anything not on the list, I add it just so I can tick it off! Sense of achievement! Sometimes just getting all the ironing done can make me more in control, or hoovering all the downstairs, for example. Hope you have a fabulous break, how lovely to catch up with Grace! Love, Ruth

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    1. Here's a hug for you Ruth. xxx

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    2. Hi Chris and Morag, hugs back to you! Xx

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  46. Great blog again today. I try to live one day or hour etc at a time or thing at a time, it doesn't always work for me, usually Pete helps put things back in perspective if I wonder off course. My anxiety is usually over things I've no control over being my grown up children and their lives. Have to learn not to let it affect me. Have a great time with Paul in New York you sure need a break after being so busy. Try to take time out to chill out with Grace, you must be over the moon knowing you'll be seeing her soon.xxx

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  47. Caption: It says on here "We came first".

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  48. I think there are many of us who can relate to your post today. Lists help me get through big things. Or I put things in the box in my brain to bring them out and deal with as and when the need arises.
    Have a fab trip to New York, its on my bucket list of places to visit. Xx

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  49. Hi Barbara, You seem to have got it 'sussed', I will have to try and take your advice on board, because what you described of yourself, definitely describes me too !!
    Can you fit me into your suitcase !! I have always wanted to go to New York. Say 'Hi' to Grace from us all !!
    Lots of love from Patricia xx

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  50. Hi Barbara, You seem to have got it 'sussed', I will have to try and take your advice on board, because what you described of yourself, definitely describes me too !!
    Can you fit me into your suitcase !! I have always wanted to go to New York. Say 'Hi' to Grace from us all !!
    Lots of love from Patricia xx

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  51. that sounds a lot like the advice i dish out on a daily basis. sounds like you have been through therapy in a way. but that is awesome advice and should be heeded by everybody. enjoy your trip, hugs xx

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  52. Hi to all my bloggie friends, hope you have had a lovely sunny day as we have here. Must be on my way now, DC Banks awaits. Love and hugs to you all.xxx

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  53. Great blog, Barbara. Struck more than one chord. When I was going through a very bad time in my life, my lovely mum told me to think of all my problems and worries and put them into separate boxes and close the lid on them – and only open one at a time and deal with it. Wise words, just like yours. Thanks for sharing this blog with us. Have a fantastic time in NY. You certainly deserve it.

    My caption would be: "Go away! It's my turn to read Barbara's blog!" :)

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  54. I love your Wednesday blogs, and can totally relate to ticking one thing at a time off my list! Enjoy your trip to NYC with Paul and have fun with Grace x

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  55. ps Write your book one word at a time. Books come in all shapes and sizes now; it doesn't have to be a blockbuster... Steamy Scenes in the Craft World... Secrets of the G Spot (no need to tell them you mean Groovi...) :D Seriously, make it whatever size you want. But start it. One word at a time. It'll be great. Kx

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  56. What an amazing blog today. Moving and insightful at the same time. Has given me so much to think about and is obviously close to a lot of our hearts. Wonderful that you can catch up with Grace whilst you are in NY. xx

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  57. I definitely agree! Since suffering with ME, everything little thing I do has to be 'one thing at a time'. Life is just about workable then! Have an awesome trip and enjoy seeing Grace! xxx

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  58. Great blog today. Enjoy your trip to New York.

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  59. Hope you enjoy New York x

    My caption:-) "So you think I should audition for The Great British Bakeoff. The last guy was a Silverback you know"

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  60. Well I have just finished reading your blog
    Barbara I was totally supprised by your anxiety issues you always seem to me to be in total control.
    I know we are all different and deal with things in our own way but your one thing at a time is great philosophy to have. I wish you and Paul happy travels and look forward to reading your blog from across the pond
    Have fun xxx

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  61. Hello my bloggy friends, just had to tell you that my local craft shop has always been into parchment craft but has recently started selling the Groovi range.(although I still only buy direct from Barbara). Better still they have started running Groovi classes! I have been to one and my next one is tomorrow. I am sooo excited. Will let you know how it goes.xx

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    1. That's great, bet you learn loads, and make some new crafty friends too. Hope you have fun xx

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    2. Enjoy your groovi class today xxx

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    3. That's brilliant for you Susan. I've caught up with your recent posts and I think you're truly amazing. I'm so pleased you're now joining in the daily chats, it is incredible how supportive and loving these wonderful blog friends are. Love and hugs to you xxx

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  62. Great blog Barbara, and it obviously struck a chord with so many here. Didn't Charles Dickens and Agatha Christie publish some of their stories in instalments in periodicals? The breaking- it- down approach is so wise and helpful, and used by most effective project managers.
    Never been to New York - it's on my wish list. Enjoy your trip and your time with Grace. Carol S x

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  63. Hi Barbara,

    Love your blog today (and always), great metaphor on achieving something by breaking it down into small chunks. At one time I could multi-task now it's one thing at a time, only way I can keep on top of tasks.

    Charlotte and I challenged ourselves this year to enter monthly the clarity challenges. By entering the clarity challenges on a monthly basis has certainly helped me progress and achieve different results as I have learned more.

    Have a fantastic time in New York, have you tried the Hard Rock Cafe - it's always an experience; they have a lot of rock memorabilia too! Wishing you and Paul a safe and enjoyable trip and have a great time with Grace!

    Big hugs Marian X

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  64. Very wise words Barbara. I find if I forget to do a bit at a time then i get overwhelmed and panic anout what is required. I have now learned to let a lot of stuff that used to get me stressed not get to me as much. Just keep reminding us to do this and we will all manage everything we need to do a bit at a time.

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  65. Hello Barb, this blog is very inspiring and thought provoking at the same time. Something I need to do, so thank you for sharing your thoughts. Have a great time in New York, hope that whatever you do is successful. A caption for that phot immediately came to mind. "Just wait a minute while I get the Parental control set up!" Take care, and have a safe trip. Bx

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  66. This has been a really helpful blog for me, thank you Barbara xx

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  67. A great blog Barbara which shows your strength. Many people think that they need to hide their feelings in case it is seen as a weakness when in fact it shows the opposite. Enjoy your trip and especially seeing your lovely daughter. Take care x

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  68. Morning Barbara well been there done that bought the T shirt as the
    saying goes and aye I'm no going back there either got so much in a
    panic was physically sick I still worry about stuff but hopefully will
    never let it get back to that feeling thanks for being so honest with
    us it helps to know that we are not alone.
    Go on start that book and have a great time in NY with wee Grace.
    Take care...Love Dot..xx

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    1. Caption...Stop pushing buttons Gran and ask Brenda...xx

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    2. Morning all hope your day is a happy one Hugs fae Dot..

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    3. Good morning Dorothy. Hope you're having a good day. Love and Hugs xxx

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  69. Good morning Barbara. I too can relate to all you said. I too was left on my own with two young children. Having been brought up in care there was no one to support me. I used to have panic attacks including chest pains etc all the time, believing I was going to die and there'd be no-one who would love my girls as much as I did. My panic attacks stopped strangely enough the first time I had cancer!!! But breaking things down to one step at a time is as natural as breathing here! What with a daughter suffering from severe anxiety and depression and Grandson autistic! But I do believe, as I said up above that everything happens for a reason. But wouldn't it be great if we knew the reasons for all the awful things that happen to us!
    Sorry for getting a bit carried away!
    have a wonderful time in New York. You certainly deserve it. Love and Hugs xxx

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    1. We often never know what challenges people are carrying with them . I take medication for depression and I'm so thankful that I found a treatment . That's one reason I love the word joy and gratitude . Just because a person is smiling doesn't nesessarily mean everything is fine .

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  70. Good morning all my lovely blog friends. Still feel a bit iffy today. Hubby and Liam both laid up with it now..so joy of joys!!! I have the house 'smelling like a hospital' I'm told hahah!
    I hope you all have as good a day as possible.
    Love and Hugs to you all xxx

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  71. Yes defo One Day At A Time for me too....

    Caption for the picture

    "well I know Barbara Grays Blog is round here somewhere - if only this mouse would do as it is told it keeps running off !! "

    x

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Thank you for your kind messages and I hope you get inspiration from my ramblings.

Barb x