Wednesday, 9 March 2016

Netiquette. Be Nice !

Hi there!
Thanks for popping in.
Can’t stay long this evening.
I have left dear Mandy Branston in the kitchen, 
cleaning Baby Plates!

She has come down for a couple of days, 
to lend a friendly hand and have a good old chinwag.
It’s so good to catch up. We went to Bills in Lewes for lunch.
#abreakfromwork.

Colourful and bohemian...


...heaving as always.



When we walked in off the dreary, rainy empty High Street
into the warm, vibrant busy bustle of the place we love called Bills,
her face was a picture.
“WOW”, she said, “Never expected this!”
So we had a big old pot of tea and a lovely lunch -
and did what ladies do that lunch.

It was NICE.
It was PLEASANT.
It was SAFE.

Just like this here daily blog.
When you drop in here, you know you will get a daily dose of creativity, and meet a bunch of lovely, 
gentle, gracious folk, who look out for each other.

We can stay in touch with friends at home, and friends further afield, like Gill and Debby, who are in Texas now. 
The blog and the social networks 
make the world much much smaller.


But the main thing for me is that when you drop in here, 
you NEVER find nastiness
and you NEVER expect it.

That’s important for me and you.

I cannot stand to read the bile that I see on Facebook and Twitter sometimes,
especially when it involves people I know, respect and even love.

When I was at university, I studied Sociolinguistics as part of the curriculum. We learned about something called Social Strokes.
The way people from different nations and walks of life interact with one another. 
Not all nations have a Please and Thank you culture, like the Brits.
 In Japan it is important to enquire, How is your family? 
Another culture might find this an invasion of privacy. And so on.
Do take a seat. Would you like a drink?
etc etc etc
It’s a fascinating subject!
What is important to an English person may not be as crucial 
to a person from another country.
Our great British sarcasm is often construed as offensive by other cultures. We don’t mean to be rude, yet it can be interpreted as such by a person from another country. 

But one thing I know for sure:
the way that some people conduct themselves and interact on the social networks is not acceptable at any level or to any culture. 

The mindless criticism and prattle that people come out with is often very rude, offensive and serves no purpose, except to cause distress to another human being. 

I know that we evolve, and so we must.
We have moved a million miles away from the staunch, stiff etiquette of Victorian England. 
Thank goodness.

But I think it is time to start being mindful around Netiquette.
A combination of Internet and Etiquette.

When people are targeted and bullied online, 
it makes my skin crawl.
When I have stood up and defended those poor people,
 I got it in the neck.
Whatever. It says a lot more about the attacker than the victim, don’t you agree?
Alone, I can’t do much. I can stand my ground, and I do, 
because I despise bullies and keyboard warriors. 

But if everybody reading this blog (that’s about 3,000 of us daily)
made a conscious decision to block negativity and mindless criticism on the Crafty social networks when they saw it, 
that would constitute a positive force to be reckoned with. 
Food for thought.

And don’t be asking me who has got under my skin, 
because nobody has!
This issue runs much deeper than that. 

I have to go now.
Mandy is alone with Romeo in the kitchen!


love & hugs,

136 comments:

  1. Well said Barbara, I totally agree.

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  2. Couldn't agree with you more............ xx

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  3. I too agree and do not go on Facebook or Twitter. I get enough abuse at work from my "customers" thats what the MOJ tells us we have to call them. I try each day to be polite, count to 100+ when abused. Sometimes very hard and very stressful. Still working on my body language which speaks volumes - heart on sleeve.
    I love this blog and all it gives to me. When things are bit too much, I turn to the blog, to Barbara and Clarity. I am so pleased to know such lovely, caring people.
    I would like to shout from the rooftops "Hooray" for finding Barbara et al.
    Lots of love to you
    Anne (Reading)

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    1. Hi Anne, not seen you here for a bit. I think you said you were going on holiday? Or was that ages ago (I struggle to even know what day it is these days!!!) How are you keeping? xx

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    2. Evening Anne nice to see you back xxx

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  4. Hear hear xxx
    Did you get your cat back from Amanda lol
    Hugs to all xx

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  5. Hear hear xxx
    Did you get your cat back from Amanda lol
    Hugs to all xx

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  6. Well... thank you and please culture like the Brits have.... I used to know England as Gentlemen country, as I used to call it. People were helpful, friendly, polite. That was many decades ago.

    As I decided to move to England some 20 years ago, it was completely different. I have never met so many rude, impolite and ill mannered people in any other country. I couldn't believe it, this was not the country I came to know and love so many years ago. And it got worse over the years.

    I have seen workplaces where staff is bullied by colleagues and where the bullys are protected instead of the victims who are only threatend by the bosses to stop fighting back or get sacked. In the end the bullied people leave their work because they can't stand it any longer and the bully has a good laugh. I have never seen that in other countries. Only in England.

    The online "culture" of bullying people or even threaten them is nothing but disgusting. And that does not only happen in England. This is a worldwide problem. Obviously there are more and more cowards waking up every day and find it funny to pour shit over other people they don't even know. They would not be brave enough to do that in person. Or would they? Well, too many do exactly that. Make other peoles lives a hell just because they can. Even in real live.

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  7. I totally agree, I really feel for the youngsters theses days, I for one am glad I grew up when I did, if someone said something horrible about you, you usually knew the person and there may have been a reason for what they had said (or maybe not) but it wasn't someone hiding behind a keyboard who didn't know you from Adam.
    Just before I read the blog, I'd read about a family trying to rehome their rabbits, and people were making horrible comments - why, what has it got to do with them, someone was trying to do the right thing!
    It is no wonder the cases of depression in young people is going up, where will it end. I have two young grandchildren and I worry about how they will cope with so much negativity.
    I feel if you can't say something nice or positive online - keep quiet...... I'll get off my soapbox now!! Kay xx

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    1. Beautifully put. Totally agree. It is too easy to hide behind the apparent anonymity of a keyboard and screen. xx Maggie

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  8. Hear hear Barbara.

    Unfortunately it's not just the social networks! I've personally experienced some very rude, disrespectful support workers in the past few years who think they should be shown full respect no matter what they do/say (and this backed up by a vey senior person too!), and that me as a service user isn't worthy of the respect they'd show to another human being in any other area of their life! And me trying to help them understand the errors of their ways mostly fell on deaf ears!

    It doesn't cost anyone anything to say please and thank you, and show a bit of respect and interest to our fellow human beings, no matter what our personal feelings and thoughts are. Those who don't already might be pleasantly surprised at the response they get if they did!

    I'm so glad to hear you've had #abreakfromwork. Hopefully it's re-energised you a bit. Glad you've got lovely company to share in your personal Groovi plate cleaning and packing production line, that'll help the time pass.

    love Brenda xx

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    1. Brenda, you might think you have trouble explaining ow you feel but what you say here is very eloquent and puts everything firmly into perspective. As you say, politeness costs nothing and should be the norm. Everyone is entitled to respect. I know that social workers are not given the time they need to do their job properly, but that still does not excuse the way they have treated you. If they cannot treat you with respect and compassion, they should not be in the job. I hope that, perhaps, someone reading this blog can find a way to help you. Meanwhile, everyone reading this blog is on your side. xxx Maggie

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    2. Maggie, you've put my own thoughts exactly! I could not have put it better.
      Brenda, if the Social Workers took the time just to listen to you , they would learn so much! Hugs xx

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    3. Hi Brenda
      You are so right. Every human being deserves to be shown respect. A please thank you or even a smile cost nothing and can make all the difference to a person. I hope you have had a good day today, sending you and Daisy hugs xx

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    4. Hi Brenda it makes my day when I see you here you are loved and we need you...xx here's yir cuddle..xx

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    5. Well said Brenda! Totally with you and all of your other supporters here!! Hugs Gilly xx

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    6. Evening Brenda it makes my day when you come here you are a very caring person and should have that care given to you lots of hugs for you and daisy xxx

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    7. Evening Brenda, sending hugs. Xx

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    8. Thank you everyone for all your kind and thoughtful words and sentiments :-)
      A social worker, anyone, making contact with me would be a start!!! Still not a word from social services, despite someone phoning them 2 weeks ago to voice their concerns regarding their abandonment of me! My gardens are going to start suffering now with having no one to let me get out into them. And I'm not going to be able to sow my veg next month either :-( I'm very frightened now, it's been so long, nearly 4 months, that I've been pretty much totally abandoned for, and struggling more and more getting sicker and sicker. I don't know where I'd be (well I do but best not go there) without Barbara and this Clarity family, it's all I have left. thank you Barbara, thank you everyone xx

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  9. I was formulating my response re Bill's (which looks fab, by the way) and about to liken it to an establishment we used to frequent outside Houston (name escapes me, presently) Texas and low and behold, you go on to mention your two friends who have so recently moved to that state. This cafe/restaurant/food shop was brill and the upbeat lady who travelled around with the tea trolley ( large glass jars of loose leaf teas of every description - coffee too, if desired) - filling and refilling your clear teapot was an absolute joy. Which takes me on to your main theme - negativity. I taught in an establishment where there was not only negativity but tunnel vision; any innovative idea or suggestion, rejected, probably as I wasn't in with the bricks and mortar! The only people who mattered were my students and we had a ball; grades went up, parents and teacher happy. Enough from me but it's good to 'get rid' now and then. Off to see to the curry! ;~}

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  10. How very well stated. I was raised and live in the southern United States and was taught by my parents to say please and thank you. Seems to be a disappearing mindset. Thanks for the reminder Barbara that one person can make a difference!

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  11. Have a wonderful, Groovi time, love and hugs to all...xxx

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  12. Live and let live. Change happens all the time. We get to know our true friends when change happens. we have to move on from the narrow minded people. Enjoy your friendly company Barbara.
    Mindfulness Wednesday - sadly my husband lost his battle with ill health but I have and have had some wonderful people around me. Thank you all xx

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    1. I'm sorry to hear that, thinking about you, love Brenda xx

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    2. My sincere condolences to you. Hugs xx

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    3. So sorry to hear of your loss, thinking of you xx

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    4. Sorry to hear of your loss Columbine. You are in my thoughts xx

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    5. May I send my condolences to you and your family.

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    6. May I send my condolences to you and your family.

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    7. Sorry to hear that Columbine - Hugs Gilly x

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    8. Deepest sympathy Columbine x x

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    9. Such sad news thoughts are with you xxx

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    10. Oh dear, thinking of you. Sending a hug. Xx

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    11. I am thinking of you. Whether we lose someone so precious to long illness or something very sudden, the loss and feeling totally bereft is just as bad. Take your time to make any decisions and don't let anyone tell you that you will get over it. You won't but you will slowly learn to handle your grief. There is no timetable, we are all different. Try to hold on to your good memories and allow the bad ones to fade away. xxx Maggie

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    12. Thank you everybody for your kind words. xx

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  13. Totally agree with all you say.

    Thank you for your powerful message Barbara

    Crafty hugs Pen x

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  14. Barbara, I do so agree with you! There is no need for people to be nasty to others, both in person and on the internet. I am in a group where one (now ex...) member tried to ruin the business of another member, apparently just because she could!! I don't understand the mentality that makes people do that. I was raised to be nice to others, as were my children and grandchildren. I think we can all make a difference, no matter how small, by setting a good example to others.

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  15. Totally agree hate bullies and seeing others pick on horrid words said about others have always felt if cannot say anything nice don't say anything so have a wonderful time with our Mandy hugs and lots love to you both and Dave Paul and rest of clarity family your all brill xxx

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  16. People are always only too happy to pour negativity into our ears but it's up to us what comes out of our mouths (or from our finger tips when on the keyboard/keypad). I always try to think 'how would I feel if spoken to like that?'. Totally agree with your comments which is why I stay well away from Facebook etc. Enjoy your evening xx

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  17. Sadly Barbara I think it is a reflection of the mixed up rude society we live in today. I always try and see the good in people. Admittedly we can't all like the same people, that would make for a boring existence but I agree with you wholeheartedly that there is no need to make one's feelings public for all to read. I have been guilty of joining in on one such thread and immediately regretted my typed words. I have never done it since. Unfortunately, I think the craft world is full of bad manners and jealousy. There are always people who criticise others because they are jealous of those people's success. To me they are not worth worrying about as your genuine friends will always support and encourage you.
    Have a fabulous two days with Mandy - please give her a big hug from me. Don't work her too hard will you? Lol xxxxx

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  18. Very true words. 'Do as you would be done by' our local school motto. xx

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    1. Obviously, someone had read The Water Babies. I often used that book when I was teaching to try to show children the right at to behave towards others by quoting Mrs Do As You Would Be Done By and Mrs Be Done By As You Did. xx Maggie

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  19. Mmm.. I'm no longer on facebook because I can't be bothered with all the nonsense in the same way that I can't stand virtual reality shows. My two daughters use facebook and have often got caught up on misinterpreting the written word. The other thing that gets my goat is how rude people and I hate to say it, older people, can be to retail workers. I've worked in retail for a number of years now and a few of the older generation treat us like servants. I've had 'come here girl', 'get me ...', 'I want to speak to a man'. I'm at the age now that the more horrible someone is to me the nicer I will be to them as they are clearly having a bad day or have problems.

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  20. I agree totally with these sentiments, Barbara. There are so many rude and disrespectful people on social media hiding behind their profiles who say things they would never say face to face to someone.

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  21. My mom said " if you can't say anything good , don't say anything at all . Have a joy filled day . Janice

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  22. I, like everyone on here totally agree with what you say in regards to trolling and bullying on the internet. But I was also excited to see you frequent Bills in Lewes as this is where, on a weekend break from London my now wife & I got engaged! we married last July, which was a perfect day, but Bills always makes me smile, thanks Barbara x

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  23. Well said Barbara. As my Lovely Grandad used to say....good manners cost nowt.
    I have two characters up on the dining room wall at school built with the letters that spell please and thank you as a timely reminder to the children to say please and thank you to the lovely ladies who cook and serve their dinner each day. Visitors regularly comment on them too

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  24. I'm with you Barbara! I hate bullies too! And the trolls that lurk in Facebook and Twitter are the worst type!!!! Spineless!
    Have a lovely evening catching up with mandy... Would love to be there with you! Xxx

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  25. I'm with you Barbara! I hate bullies too! And the trolls that lurk in Facebook and Twitter are the worst type!!!! Spineless!
    Have a lovely evening catching up with mandy... Would love to be there with you! Xxx

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  26. Oh so agree with you Barbara! Why can't they just "scroll on by" rather than say something nasty! Glad you had a nice day, love Bills always buzzing! Xx

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  27. Totally agree with all your sentiments today. Well done you Barbara for voicing them. I was brought up to treat people the way you wish to be treated and if you can't think of anything nice to say then don't say anything at all, just like others on this here blog. Have a great few days with Mandy, love to you both xxx

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  28. Hi Barbara, Very well put, Barbara, I fully agree with you. I was always brought up with the saying "if you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all" and no truer words were ever spoken. I find this when I read some people's comments on Blogs, who can't keep anything they think negative, to themselves. Social Media is a breeding ground for bullies and I don't go on FB or Twitter, but most people seem to 'live' on it, they don't seem to care who they hurt with their 'words' either.
    Once again, well said Barbara !!
    Lots of love from Patricia xx

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  29. Hi Donna, Sheila, Diane, Brenda and Dot, sorry haven't been on here lately, but had an awful virus, but gladly feeling much myself now. Hope you are all well and have had chance to craft. I've lots to catch up on. Love and hugs to all Pam xx

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    1. I'm pleased to hear that you're recovering Pam xx

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    2. Glad you're feeling better. We missed you.

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    3. Hello Pam lovely to see you back, sorry though you've had a virus - there are some nasty bugs about. Do look after yourself - some gentle crafting will help you feel better soon xx

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    4. Evening pam missed you your pain appointment is soon hope you get some pain relief not good having a virus now too lots of get well hugs xxx

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    5. Sorry you're not well. Good that you're feeling up to joining us again xx

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    6. Evening Pam, glad you are back. Get better soon. Xx

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  30. i agree too. i also get he cultural difference slant as i struggle with that myself at times. when i can't think of anything nice to say i tend to shut up unless i feel very strongly about something, hugs xx

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  31. Well said and I agree with you Barbara.
    Hope you and Amanda enjoy your time together Xx

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  32. I agree with every word you said today, Barbara. Thank you for voicing what so many of us think. I do use Facebook a lot as it enables me to stay in touch with a lot of my friends, but I try to avoid the nasty side of it. Even if I have to complain, I still endeavour to treat the other person with courtesy and respect. All together, we are certainly a force to be reckoned with and we should all do our little bit to bring about change and outlaw the cyber bullies. xxx Maggie

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  33. I knew there was a reason why I don't bother with Facebook or Twitter! Such a shame that a way of bringing people with similar interests together should also be a way of reaffirming prejudices and facilitating bullying. So completely agree we should take it back as a force for good, much like your blog, I have found it supportive when I needed it to be and try to return that as often as I can. Maybe the more I try to bring that to Facebook and Twitter, we can drown out the bad. Much love Karen xxx

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    1. Sending a hug to you and your work colleague and her sons appoligies as I keep forgetting her name xxx

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    2. Thanks so much, Jill and her son's are all doing really well. All 3 are back at work full time and Alex the younger one who had a heart attack, is really excited this weekend as my MD invited him to the England v Wales match at the weekend. So thanks for thinking of them, we are so happy to see them back to full strength. Hope you are feeling well, much hugs. Karen xxx

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  34. Beautifully put Barbara. Seems like all your followers agree as well. I think everyone should be treated with respect and be respectful of others. I am not a Facebook follower and hate the thought of the cyber bullies. Thank you for bringing our attention once again to such an important topic. Will be thinking of you as you polish away. Have a good evening.

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  35. Beautifully put Barbara! I wholeheartedly agree with you. I don't do Twitter, and as for Facebook, I have several accounts plus my main one. Accounts in the name of pets we have had in the past. The reason being is that my Autistic grandson uses facebook and loves playing Castleville for which he needs 'Friends' in order to progress with the game. I was worried about who he may allow onto his page. So I came up with the idea of having all of these different accounts so that he could 'friend' each one. But boy, does it take some time for me to answer his game requests on each one! haha!. But it keeps him safe, as I can monitor his activity too and he can still play the game to his hearts content! I never use it for anything else as I have heard too many negative things about it.
    I hope you are finding time for a little rest this evening. xxx

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    1. Hi Morag,
      How about meeting next Tuesday about 1ish? Xx

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    2. That will be great Alison. I've got ash blonde hair..more ash than blonde these days!! In my 60's. I'll wear a cream jacket and I have a sparkly walking stick! But I won't be wearing a pink carnation haha! It will be so lovely to chat with someone who is as much into Clarity as me xx

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    3. Morag what a great idea to keep your grandson safe and let him enjoy his game. Have a lovely meet up you two - perhaps you could carry your Clarity club folder to aid recognition rather than the carnation. X

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    4. My Daughter does the same with the boys ...xx

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    5. Well Morag and Alison - enjoy your time together, if only some more of us lived closer - we would love to join you. Especially if there is cake involved! xx

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    6. I've got grey hair in a chin length Bob. Haven't a clue what I'll be wearing though - that's too organised for me! I'm 60 . Shall I wait outside cafe for you ? Xx

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    7. Gillyflower, there will definitely be cake! Xx

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    8. Have a wonderful time meeting up wish I could be there too have extra cake from me I'm sixty in September how lovley is that xxx

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    9. I'll make sure that I'm on time..hopefully!. yes please, outside will be much easier.
      Oh my goodness, all this extra cake!! I'll never lose weight haha. But I will definitely think of you all has I'm eating it. xxx

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    10. Thanks for that Morag!! xxx

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    11. What a lovely granny you are xx

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    12. Evening Morag, what a lovely way to help and keep a watchful eye at the same time. Xx

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  36. How wonderful you express this idea! Social media should be nice platforms to communicate with like minded people as well as having constructive discussions. Too often it descends into bullying and vulgarity. Your blog is a haven from all that nonsense.

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  37. You are right about bullying and general rudeness Barbara, and unfortunately social media does seem to bring out the worst in some people. I hope you have a nice couple of days with Amanda and a little time out for a nice lunch at Bills was a great idea. We have one in town where I live and we have been in there just once but will go again as there is definitely a good vibe there. x

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  38. Evening Sheila, Gilly, Donna, Dorothy, Pam, Diane, Brenda and Alison. I hope you have all had a good day. Alison I hope you got on all right at the vets. Gilly I don't envy you and your hubby having to decide on treatment, it's an awful time.
    Hugs to all on here xxx

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    1. Hi Morag - it's a really difficult choice to have to make, but we are in very good spirits, and it could be a lot worse. Sitting in front of the fire has been the place to be today, as this 'un-named' storm is the worst so far, lots of damage on the north coast. Thankfully we live on the South-East coast, so we have been lucky! Hugs Gilly xx

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    2. Evening morag I have done a little groovi today sending lots of hugs your way xxx

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    3. Enjoy your cake, and a chat with a new friend! Xx

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  39. Hi Barbara I read your blog for a long time before I thought it was a safe place to put a wee comment or two then once I was here It began to mean a lot not just for your art and craft help but for who you and the people here are and how they have helped me through this last couple of years.
    When my Granddaughter was born very premature at 1lb 4oz my Daughter was like her friends very into facebook to keep up with her friends so she made a wee Facebook diary page about wee Amy and her progress and then eventually about her being Autistic she made a lot of friends around the world going through the same thing and it was lovely until one day the Trolls found the page and started posting the most evil comments that I couldn't even repeat here.
    All I can say is WHY and may your god forgive you.
    ...Dot..x

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    1. Hi been a bit busy with babysitting just now but hugs to all you lovely people..Dot..xx

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    2. Hello Dot, it's good to know you are ok - have fun babysitting but make sure you get some rest and me time xxx

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    3. Evening Dorothy how wonderful your babysitting your wonderful grandchildren and wee Amy how special she is because she has autistic makes her more special , my granddaughter was born 7 weeks premature 3lb 14oz she is 18 in September at collage and im so proud of her sending hugs xxx

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    4. Evening Dot, good to see you back. Sending hugs. Xx

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  40. Hi Barb,
    Oh how I agree with you. I really don't like Facebook or Twitter. I think I've said in the best how I had to deal with students who were being bullied or worse on Facebook when I was in charge of child protection at school. How some of the kids coped is beyond me. I was always taught to have good manners, say please and thank you, have respect for my elders etc and I always tried to I still those things in the students who came into my classroom. They were taught to have respect for each other and to help each other as well. I think we have lost a lot of our values as a nation and this upsets me.
    On a better note, had a good visit to the vets. Scamp is progressing well and can now have supervised walks around the lounge as long as she isn't allowed to jump anywhere. Only trouble is when she goes back into her cage, she cries to be out again. Little tinker deliberately knocked her water bowl over twice in the hope that she'd be allowed out!
    Morag - left a message on one of your earlier comments xxx
    Love and hugs to all, Alison xxxx

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    1. Good to hear Scamp is getting better. Have a good meet up xx

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    2. So pleased scamp is making good progress xxx

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    3. I do use Facebook to keep in touch with a lot of friends but try to keep well away from the unpleasant side. I also have a Twitter account, which I had to keep an eye on what was happening during the riots in 2011, when my son was at risk due to his job, but I have never posted on it. xxx Maggie

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  41. Totally agree! Hope Mandy survived her date with Romeo (Miss P may be jealous though). So funny that you've got Mandy on the groovies. What a lot of scrubbers you are!!! Hugs to you and Mandy xxx

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  42. Hi Barbara
    What a thoughtful blog today and I heartily agree with your comments. I don't do Facebook and walk away from blogs that are unpleasant about people, some people can be so unpleasant. The cafe in Lewis looks wonderful, what a find! I hope you and Mandy have a good catch up and polishing session - now is that 400 each tonight? Take care
    Love Diane xxx

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    1. Hi Sheila hi Donna hope you are both ok - sending hugs to both of you xxx

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    2. Evening Diane sending lots of hugs dear blog friend xxx

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    3. Evening Diane, sending hugs. Xx

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  43. Evening I don't do Facebook or any social media as I cannot understand why people need to hurt people just because they can ,I do write here on your blog and I find such comfort in the clarity blog family who meet here from time to time or each day like me ,it helps me to know I'm not alone in my struggles of life and to be thankful for what I can do so a big thank you to your blog and the wonderful people who comment here long may it continue hugs to all on the blog and to you Barbara and your family and the clarity crew xxx

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    1. Hi Sheila - hope that you have been ok today! I haven't done much today - resting in front of the fire and building up some energy for tomorrow! Take care - sending you many hugs - Gilly xxx

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    2. Evening Sheila, crafty hugs to you. Xx

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  44. Well said Barbara - I totally agree with everything that you have said. I cannot understand why these evil people say these things on the internet. Social media can and does help so many people - but as usual, the minority spoil it for the majority, such a shame! I was also brought up not to say anything to or about someone, if I couldn't say something good. Times really have changed, and not for the better. Thank goodness that we can be members of your wonderful blog, as it benefits every one of us, and we thank you for that. Hugs Gilly x

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    1. Evening gilly thinking of you sending big hugs your way xxx

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  45. Hear, hear to what you say about the rude comments. If you can't say something nice then don't say anything at all. Some people flock to nastiness and jump on the band wagon just for the sake of it if you ask me.

    I've been to Bills in Oxford a few times now, lunchtime and evenings, and it's a lovely atmosphere with a mix of people.

    I hope Amanda doesn't pack Romeo in her suitcase when she goes ! Have a lovely time and make sure she does her fair share of the plates LOL !

    xxx

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  46. As usual Barbara you're right. I don't use Facebook or any other social media. I worked in a cubicle on a phone and computer for many years and I know how mean and nasty people can be when they don't think they have to be accountable for their actions. I think accountability and in some instances a conscience are the missing ingredients. Everyone should keep in mind that we are all just trying to make it through life to the best of our ability and reach out and help each other. I read your blog and the comments daily for inspiration and comfort from like minded people who believe in family, friendship, hard work, and play. You're Clarity products are my personal reward to help keep balance in my life. Thank you to you and all of the Clarity Community. I think that you are all wonderful.

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  47. Evening Donna sending hugs your way xxx

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  48. Evening, that is exactly the reason I don't do face book, twitter or any other social media except your blog and Jo's. I hate that people feel they can past judgement and post nasty comments about people they don't even know just because they are sitting behind a screen. Would they say these things to the person if they were in front of them? I was brought up better by my parents, some people should try hard to be better human beings and think about how they would feel if the shoe was on the other foot. I sincerely hope that we continue to keep this blog a safe and caring environment that everyone can contribute to, without feeling excluded or judged. Xx

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    1. Hi Donna, late tonight, been doing something nice? xx

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    2. Out with my sisters to the cinema, saw 'London Has Fallen'. Lovely Gerad Butler, could save me any day :) xx

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  49. I sooooo agree with all your comments and the comments of the above bloggers.

    Much love,

    Shirley T. xxx

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  50. My family motto is
    If you can't say anything nice, say nothing at all.
    This is something I have upheld for 62 years. Life is too short to do anything else. I smile at everyone I see this confuses the dickens out of people that don't know me. But most smile back

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  51. Hi Barb, everything you have said here is so true. The old saying sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never harm me, is so untrue. Think before you speak, or don't say anything. I love reading your blog, really gives me a lift at the start of the day. Take care all. Bx

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  52. I totally agree.I wander onto FB quite I infrequently and despair when I see all the terrible comments sometimes. Why do people feel the need to be so nasty?

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  53. I am mostly a pure blogger Barb and I love this social platform as I only meet and interact with the very sweetest of people. It's a lovely place to be. I try to avoid Facebook's negative people as all they do bring everything down. Mindfulness and positivity will always be the better pathway....Thanks for speaking out..sometimes people don't know what they are doing and if this raises the issue hopefully they will recognise themselves. ..we can but hope xx

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  54. Well said Barbara
    Love June Horrocks xxxxx

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  55. Morning Barbara! I totally agree with what you have said. There is no need for this type of behaviour, they are just bullies and quite often jealous of the person they are attacking. If you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything. In some cases silence speaks volumes.
    Have a good day
    Hugs
    Linda xxx

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  56. I also agree with everything you have said! Kindness costs nothing and makes everyone feel good! xxx

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  57. Whilst I agree with most of what you have said Barbara, it is possible to be on Facebook and not get caught up in negative rubbish. It is about your settings. I use it to stay in touch with family and friends and do not accept invitations from anybody I don't know. All my settings are private so only my friends can see what I post. I do not post everything that I am doing or thinking!! I read you blog every day and do post comments sometimes. I find your blog really insightful and love your creativity and enthusiasm and from reading comments, it is a lifeline for many people. Bullies are bullies because usually somebody has bullied them and that is how they have learnt to behave in order to protect themselves. I am not condoning it but do understand how it comes about. Others (especially in the craft world) do seem to be jealous of other's success. You are successful and have worked hard to get here with love and support from others and that is what your lovely blog does for so many people.
    Enjoy your day and spread your sunshine to others. xx

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    1. You are so right, Chrissy, about controlling you own account settings. I have had lots of invitations from random people, but I check everyone very carefully before accepting them. If anyone starts being unpleasant, I just unfriend them and block them immediately. Life is too short to be faced with that kind of unpleasantness. We all need more sunshine in our lives. xxx Maggie

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  58. Couldn't agree more, well said..xx

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  59. "If you have nothing 'pleasant' to say, say nothing" is my motto. I don't do FB or any of that stuff (already spend too much time at the computer) so I guess I don't get affected by this particular nastiness, but I've noticed it in a few forums (NEVER here).
    Loved Bills in Lewes when I went with a friend - had one of the best meals I've ever had there. Had to wait a while for a space, but it was so worth it. Wonderful atmosphere.
    Sociolinguistics sounds fascinating Barbara.
    Tonbridge Sue

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  60. I agree and wish more people would stand up against the mean minded and mean spirited...

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  61. Hi Barbara
    Oh Bills looks a great place, would love to visit there.
    I'm thankful I don't do social networks I only visit two blogs,so I don't come across the nasty things poeple say to each other.I was always told if you have nothing nice to say say nothing.I don't understand the need for all the personal attacks and nasty comments.

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Thank you for your kind messages and I hope you get inspiration from my ramblings.

Barb x