Welcome to mindful Wednesday!
This is where we come together to talk about LIFE,
take a look at various coping mechanisms on offer.
Where we fill our little survival toolkit with tricks, tips and techniques.
Well, this week I’d like to talk about Acceptance.
George Orwell once said,
“Happiness can only exist in Acceptance”
I am so with him on that one!
But to really believe that, to accept that as the truth,
I suppose we need to check the meaning of Acceptance.
I can only speak for myself,
but I know what it means to me.
It doesn’t mean settling for a situation;
not at all!
That is more like endurance.
Now I hope you don’t mind, but I would like to tread a heavier path today, one which will doubtless resonate with many of you.
I feel the need to do so, because I think my little story will define acceptance at root level.
Let me tell you a story.
Once upon a time, I was in an abusive relationship.
It wasn’t a happy one, in fact when I look back,
I can’t believe I stuck with it for so long!
For years I denied it, tried to hide it, didn’t want to admit it.
I was ashamed, blamed myself, felt I had failed, all that stuff.
Always hoped it would get better.
Of course it never did.
I remember, I used to sit at the window alone, and draw.
Pen and ink mostly. Even way back then, I used art as an escape.
John Keats once wrote,
“Ever let the fancy roam,
pleasure never is at home.”
Finally, it got so ugly,
I had to accept that I was in a hopeless, abusive relationship
which was never going to improve.
And therein lay my solution.
Acceptance of the problem.
Once I fully accepted my situation for what it was,
and stopped trying to qualify it, justify it, deny it, ignore it,
I had taken the first step.
When I finally traded expectations for acceptance,
I was able to move on.
Don’t get me wrong.
I didn’t HAVE to leave.
I CHOSE to because I had accepted the situation.
I had to give up everything.
The house, the furniture, the car - you get the picture.
I think that’s often the problem.
People don’t want to give up their belongings,
what they perceive as their security.
That was a long time ago, and I am glad I had the courage to change my situation.
I have a little plaque on the wall,
with the Serenity Prayer:
God, grant me the Serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the Courage to change the things I can,
and the Wisdom to know the difference.
Nowadays, I can apply this to anything,
absolutely anything in my life.
And I figure if I can get out of the pickle I was in then
with my shirt on,
I can get through anything !!
So acceptance is the key to all my problems really.
For example, if I had my way,
Grace would live up the road and Mark would live down the road.
Of course I would prefer them closer to home
than New York and San Francisco!
But I accept that I can’t change that, nor should I want to.
As long as they are happy, then so am I.
Today, I absolutely accept that situation.
Ask me again tomorrow!
And if I really need a reality check,
then I think of my friends who have buried their children.
Heavy maybe, but rightsizes my kids’ location instantly.
We all have something, don’t we.
written from the heart